My mat and I have a problem.
A problem once again created by my one and only father. Unsurprisingly.
First was the sirih dara problem (minor problem), our venue problem (major problem), now dulang hantaran problem (AIYA JUST PROBLEM LAH).
You would think my mother and my future mother-in-law would be the sebok ones who will give us grief about the wedding planning right? But nooooooooooo it has to be my traditional nak mampos father who wants to follow every damn kambing and kerbau herd there is in Singapore, JB and Batam. All his reasons for wanting something is either “Orang lain kan buat macam tu!” or “Nanti ape orang cakap!” ARGH BENCZ.
Thank you God for balancing that by giving me a chillax mother who lets me do and have anything I like and want. She even supported my original idea of ROMM solemnization only for family + wedding dinner for friends ok! Bless that woman, really.
But back to the problem.
Two months ago, my mat told me that his mother thinks that dulang hantaran is not really that important because she believes that gift-giving should be between husband and wife, and husband and wife alone, not to buat tayang during majlis kahwin. I agree with her (bless the two important women in both our lives!!!) and so my mat and I sepakat that we will have only three dulang hantaran each. Max.
I just had a feeling that my father will be the perosak rancangan so I casually ran it pass him to see his reaction.
Dad: “Harrr??? Kenapa sikit nah??? Tak boleh, tak boleh, tu sikit sangat! Tengok orang lain punya, ada sepuluh, dua belas har…”
Me: “So orang lain ada sepuluh, dua belas so kita pun kena ada sepuluh, dua belas ah. Kahwin kena ikut ikut orang ah?” (SO SICK of saying this to him for every damn thing, really)
Dad: “Eh… tak boleh lah gitu… At least sepuluh…”
Me: “No, I want to kasi tiga dulang aje.”
Dad: “Takmu lah… Tiga sikit sangat. Nanti orang tengok pikir ape (<— dia dah keluarkan his faberet line, dok)… at least tujuh lah ok? Tujuh?”
Me: “Tujuh pun still banyak sangat seh!”
Dad: “Oklah tujuh just nice, tiga terlalu sikit lah Na…”
In the end, I told him my final offer is five dulang but subject to my mat and I punya discussion (dah macam kerja seharian aku lah pulak, kena negotiate offer counter-propose segala).
My mat knows about this but we haven't really discussed in depth because we want to deal with the major items first... but that doesn't stop this issue from bugging me like crazy!!! I hate not having a solution for a problem and it will bug me for forever until I finally find a solution.
Our original tiga-dulang idea was:
Him to Me
1. Wedding band
2. Telekung and sejadah
Me to Him
1. Wedding band
2. Songkok and sejadah
3. Sirih junjung
To sedapkan hati and jantung my father, now kena add two more dulangs! (I can bet with you that he will hound me to add another four more dulangs. That old man is one kind of stubborn! An annoying perangai I inherited from him, actually. Heh.) One, we will need to figure out what we want to put on the two extra dulangs. Two, we will need to ask my future mother-in-law again to see whether she is ok with five dulangs.
My gut feeling tells me that she will be ok with it. My mat has such nice, modern, obliging parents! His mother's only grumble so far is that our wedding date is not during the school holidays - not because she is so concerned about budak budak bersekolah but because she is in the education industry herself - but my mat explained to her that we do not want to compete for dates and vendors with all the cikgu cikgu out there who jam packs June and December with their weddings. As it is, competing with other couples for vendors on regular dates aje dah stressful enough. By the time sampai wedding day je... botak lah kita jadi nya. :neutral:
Ok lah, to relieve the stress, jom kita tengok my favourite gubahan creations from various vendors such as Gubahan Klasique, Kasai Sayang, Gubahan Cinta, Midas Touch and Innovazione Gubahans. Hehehe. Since we're on the topic ma!!!
From Gubahan Klasique
I really like the whole box/tray idea! Lose the silver ranting ranting things and we’re all good.
From Kasai Sayang
Another tray arrangement, love the lace, but needs to lose the leaves.
I have issues with green leaves, sorry.
From Gubahan Cinta
Nice solid colour, round shape (I like round-shaped things! Like my mat. Hahahahaha.)
Not too sure about the juntai juntai things at the side but… ok lah.
From Midas Touch
This one needs to lose the leaves too. But got ribbons! Which I like.
If they have these in round shapes, it’d be perfect.
From Innovazione Gubahans
I love this the most!!!!! Exactly my taste. I’ll change the brooch to a flower or ribbon, though.
My gubahan for dulang hantaran will most likely look like this! Heh.
There are other vendors for gubahan such as Love Createz, Cakap Pasal Kahwin, Delon Classique and others but so far I don’t like anything from them but go recce and see whether they suit your taste better ok! There’s also Pretty White Veil who I think does very pretty candy buffets and wedding favours but I’m not sure if they do gubahan for hantaran.
Oooh and if you like the kotak kaca kinds like this or this, then you might have to ask Jentayu Gallery. I heard that they do the kotak kaca kinds but gubahan for hantaran not their main business so they only do it as and when (I’m not sure about this, do let me know if you know the answer!). Other than that, I seldom see kotak kaca kinds from our local gubahan decorators… lain lah kalau Malaysia, over there got banyak!
Macam macam pattern betul lah all these gubahan for hantaran eh.
We haven’t really made any booking for gubahan for hantaran because we personally think it’s not that important yet at this juncture (especially since we haven’t even confirmed on the number of dulangs and what items to put on the dulangs) and we anticipate that other couples from our wedding period won’t book theirs that fast.
BUT then again, that’s what we thought about live entertainment, and look what happened. :shock:
I told my uni friends about my dulang woes (I didn’t impose the wedding talk on them ok! They were the sebok excitable ones who asked me about my plans after they saw me going through my wedding budget lists while in class hehe) and they said: since my dad wants many dulangs, why not put a stack of ten dulangs on one of the dulangs? Problem settled ma.
Cekik darah punya anak anak.
Korang actually nak bapak aku tampar muka aku dengan all the dulang dulang kan.